Everyone is a creature of habit. Some people have a habit of sleeping in late, and some get up early. Some people have a habit of drinking 5 or 6 Dr. Peppers a day. Some people drink no soda at all. Some people have a habit of laying on the couch for hours a day watching Law & Order. Some people play with their children. The problem with homeschooling is this: of all those habits, I had the wrong ones.
For some time now, I've known I was lazy. I'm not talking the occasional "I want to do nothing today" kind of lazy. I mean the "I am depressed at the idea of having to wash that huge load of dishes I've let pile up for a week now" kind of lazy. It's ridiculous, really, and I have no idea why my sweet husband has not put a stop to it. (That guy is the hardest working person I've ever known...) The good news is, I have been in Scripture more in the past few weeks than possibly any other time in my life. The bad news is, that meant conviction.
On Tuesday, after getting up and having breakfast and having school, I made the realization that this is what I'm going to be doing. Every day. There wasn't a part of me that didn't want to do it, but every lazy, sinful part of me struggled with the idea of it. "But when will I be able to sit and do nothing?!" And boy oh boy did the tears flow as I began to feel sorry for my selfish little lifestyle being gone.
So I prayed.
And I read.
And I talked to the two people in my life who spur me on toward love and good deeds mare than anyone else.
And ultimately, the grace of God stepped in and began to help me battle that sinful desire to be lazy and selfish. This has been the most habit-forming and habit-changing week of my life, and I'm praying desperately that it continue because even though I loved being able to sleep on the couch all day if I so desired, there is a deep, yearning desire in my heart and soul to parent and to teach and to be a good role model for my children. That's the habit I want to form.
On Tuesday, after getting up and having breakfast and having school, I made the realization that this is what I'm going to be doing. Every day. There wasn't a part of me that didn't want to do it, but every lazy, sinful part of me struggled with the idea of it. "But when will I be able to sit and do nothing?!" And boy oh boy did the tears flow as I began to feel sorry for my selfish little lifestyle being gone.
So I prayed.
And I read.
And I talked to the two people in my life who spur me on toward love and good deeds mare than anyone else.
And ultimately, the grace of God stepped in and began to help me battle that sinful desire to be lazy and selfish. This has been the most habit-forming and habit-changing week of my life, and I'm praying desperately that it continue because even though I loved being able to sleep on the couch all day if I so desired, there is a deep, yearning desire in my heart and soul to parent and to teach and to be a good role model for my children. That's the habit I want to form.
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